Do you feel misunderstood? Perhaps you're saying the right things - to friends, family co-workers, customers - but your non-verbal signals are screaming volumes.
Try this:
- Maintain eye contact.
- Lean forward and face someone - it says you're receptive and interested.
- Don't multitask while someone is trying to talk with you! Focus fully on that person.
- Facial expressions -- a frown, disapproving look, eye rolling -- can give away your feelings .
-- A handshake with a sincere grip can send a powerful message.
-- Stand back - don't infringe on personal space. Some cultures like closeness more than others.
-- Gestures mean different things in different cultures.
-- Style and colors of clothing tell the world about us and make a great impression.
Ask family and close friends for pointers. Seeing yourself on videotape or hearing yourself on tape can also be a real eye-opener. But once you've stopped cringing, learn from your mistakes.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Organic food is orgasmic
OK, so it's not orgasmic, but a European Union-funded study says organic produce is better than ordinary food, according to BBC News Online.
The four-year project, led by Newcastle University , found a general trend showing organic food contained more antioxidants and less fatty acids. But researchers did admit the study showed some variations. Findings call into question the current stance of the Food Standards Agency (FSA), which says there is no evidence that organic food is better, the article says.
Researchers grew fruit, vegetables and reared cattle on adjacent organic and non-organic sites across Europe. They found levels of antioxidants in milk from organic cattle were between 50% and 80% higher than normal milk, the article says. Organic wheat, tomatoes, potatoes, cabbage, onions and lettuce had between 20% and 40% more nutrients. But the study also showed there were significant variations. Final results are due to be published over the next 12 months.
None of which really helps us when faced with choices at the grocery store. Me, I vote with my wallet and grocery coupons.
The four-year project, led by Newcastle University , found a general trend showing organic food contained more antioxidants and less fatty acids. But researchers did admit the study showed some variations. Findings call into question the current stance of the Food Standards Agency (FSA), which says there is no evidence that organic food is better, the article says.
Researchers grew fruit, vegetables and reared cattle on adjacent organic and non-organic sites across Europe. They found levels of antioxidants in milk from organic cattle were between 50% and 80% higher than normal milk, the article says. Organic wheat, tomatoes, potatoes, cabbage, onions and lettuce had between 20% and 40% more nutrients. But the study also showed there were significant variations. Final results are due to be published over the next 12 months.
None of which really helps us when faced with choices at the grocery store. Me, I vote with my wallet and grocery coupons.
Cancer prevention: Bring home the bacon, but don't eat it
The World Cancer Research Fund carried out an inquiry into lifestyle and cancer, and issued several recommendations, BBC News Online reports.
Recommendations include:
Don't gain weight after the age of 21
Aim to be as thin as possible -- without becoming underweight.
People with a Body Mass Index (BMI) of between 18.5 and 25, are deemed to be within a "healthy" weight range
Avoid sugary drinks, reduce fruit juice consumption, limit alcohol
Don't eat processed meats like bacon, ham and salami
Limit red meat.
Exercise every day
Babies should be breastfed
Don't take dietary supplements to try and combat cancer
The report says people can adjust cancer risks by their behavior and lifestyle choices
Body fat is a seen as a key factor and more significant than previously thought. The report says evidence is convincing that body fat is key in the development of colon and breast cancers.
So basically don't be a pig, don't eat pig, and don't behave like one.
But since two-thirds of cancer cases are not thought to be related to lifestyle, I'm gonna enjoy my glass of wine, nibble on some bacon and quit fretting. I could fall under a bus tomorrow.
Recommendations include:
Don't gain weight after the age of 21
Aim to be as thin as possible -- without becoming underweight.
People with a Body Mass Index (BMI) of between 18.5 and 25, are deemed to be within a "healthy" weight range
Avoid sugary drinks, reduce fruit juice consumption, limit alcohol
Don't eat processed meats like bacon, ham and salami
Limit red meat.
Exercise every day
Babies should be breastfed
Don't take dietary supplements to try and combat cancer
The report says people can adjust cancer risks by their behavior and lifestyle choices
Body fat is a seen as a key factor and more significant than previously thought. The report says evidence is convincing that body fat is key in the development of colon and breast cancers.
So basically don't be a pig, don't eat pig, and don't behave like one.
But since two-thirds of cancer cases are not thought to be related to lifestyle, I'm gonna enjoy my glass of wine, nibble on some bacon and quit fretting. I could fall under a bus tomorrow.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Digital scrapbooking - display your family memories!
Scrapbooking has been around for a few centuries - a way to preserve photos, memorabilia, family stories.
And while traditional scrapbooking - heavy on the arts and crafts side - is still enormously popular, especially with women, digital scrapbooking is taking the memories world by storm. And since it's a tech tool, men and kids also enjoy it!
For those a little intimidated at the thought, you'll find plenty of digital scrapbook websites to get you started - showing you how to scan and tweak photos, select the best, how to journal/write comments - and most provide easy templates to get you started.
Digital scrapbook pages can also be incorporated into a traditional scrapbook - the 'hybrid' technique takes away some of the toil, although spending time with die cuts, ribbons, brads and buttons is what traditional scrapbookers enjoy.
Whatever your interest, you'll find a way to get your old photos out of shoeboxes and your digital photos out of memory sticks or the desktop, and display and share them.
The latest hot gifts are photobooks - taking digital scrapbooking a step further to end with a polished, professional coffee table book - a great gift with the holidays racing toward us.
Why should it only be celebrities with biographies on the bookshelves?!
And while traditional scrapbooking - heavy on the arts and crafts side - is still enormously popular, especially with women, digital scrapbooking is taking the memories world by storm. And since it's a tech tool, men and kids also enjoy it!
For those a little intimidated at the thought, you'll find plenty of digital scrapbook websites to get you started - showing you how to scan and tweak photos, select the best, how to journal/write comments - and most provide easy templates to get you started.
Digital scrapbook pages can also be incorporated into a traditional scrapbook - the 'hybrid' technique takes away some of the toil, although spending time with die cuts, ribbons, brads and buttons is what traditional scrapbookers enjoy.
Whatever your interest, you'll find a way to get your old photos out of shoeboxes and your digital photos out of memory sticks or the desktop, and display and share them.
The latest hot gifts are photobooks - taking digital scrapbooking a step further to end with a polished, professional coffee table book - a great gift with the holidays racing toward us.
Why should it only be celebrities with biographies on the bookshelves?!
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Holiday guests got you in a tizzy?!
Lots of holidays coming up, perhaps you’re hosting meals, throwing a party, or having guests to stay – are you getting in a tizzy over tidiness?!?
First of all – remember, they’re coming to see YOU – not your dust bunnies. They probably won’t even notice a little disorder or untidiness –and if they do, who cares?
If you must swing into action, get the family organized – everyone gets a housework task, however small.
Focus only on the areas your visitors will see – close the doors on the rest.
Set a timer – aim for 15 to 30 minutes a day, in one room at a time. The “Tiny Tidies” will add up to several hours over time but you won’t feel overwhelmed.
This is also a great time to not only tidy closets and basements, but take those outgrown toys, books, clothes and more to charity.
Overwhelmed at all the cooking and baking? That's why the good Lord created bakeries, supermarkets, deli counters. Don't sweat it. If you're going to drive yourself into the ground, for Pete's sake let someone else do it.
The important thing is -- relax and enjoy your guests!
First of all – remember, they’re coming to see YOU – not your dust bunnies. They probably won’t even notice a little disorder or untidiness –and if they do, who cares?
If you must swing into action, get the family organized – everyone gets a housework task, however small.
Focus only on the areas your visitors will see – close the doors on the rest.
Set a timer – aim for 15 to 30 minutes a day, in one room at a time. The “Tiny Tidies” will add up to several hours over time but you won’t feel overwhelmed.
This is also a great time to not only tidy closets and basements, but take those outgrown toys, books, clothes and more to charity.
Overwhelmed at all the cooking and baking? That's why the good Lord created bakeries, supermarkets, deli counters. Don't sweat it. If you're going to drive yourself into the ground, for Pete's sake let someone else do it.
The important thing is -- relax and enjoy your guests!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Preserving family treasures for kids and grandkids
Had a major tidy out recently - garbage bag in one hand, box of tissues in the other - very cathartic even as it made me weepy.
And the treasures I found, shut away in drawers or hanging in closets!
Baby shoes, christening gowns, Kindergarten artwork, Mother's Day cards, Cub Scout badges, graduation tassels, photos, vacation postcards, sports jerseys, seashells, musical instruments -- all the memorabilia accumulated through the years!
Next stop -- my local custom picture framer!
My neighbor had some wonderful frames and shadow boxes made - a focal point of her livingroom decor, and a great way to be surrounded by wonderful memories, and also beautiful gifts for family members. She gave her daughter a gorgeous shadow box filled with family memorabilia for her wedding. Now I'm thinking about what to frame for my son as he heads out into his own place.
And the treasures I found, shut away in drawers or hanging in closets!
Baby shoes, christening gowns, Kindergarten artwork, Mother's Day cards, Cub Scout badges, graduation tassels, photos, vacation postcards, sports jerseys, seashells, musical instruments -- all the memorabilia accumulated through the years!
Next stop -- my local custom picture framer!
My neighbor had some wonderful frames and shadow boxes made - a focal point of her livingroom decor, and a great way to be surrounded by wonderful memories, and also beautiful gifts for family members. She gave her daughter a gorgeous shadow box filled with family memorabilia for her wedding. Now I'm thinking about what to frame for my son as he heads out into his own place.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Online dating tips - kissing frogs with your mouse
I used to scoff at the idea - till I went to three weddings that were the result of online matches.
So while using a mouse doesn't mean you won't still kiss a lot of frogs, might definitely be worth a try if you're in the market for a new love!
A few tips:
So while using a mouse doesn't mean you won't still kiss a lot of frogs, might definitely be worth a try if you're in the market for a new love!
A few tips:
- Dream up a creative user name to stand out from the crowd
- Create a unique and fascinating profile
- No padding or fibbing - it will come back to bite you.
- Cast your net wide to increase chances of hearing from people
- Stay positive, be patient
- Don't get too personal - be wary of those who do
- Keep responses short and sweet - save the lengthy prose for when the two of you have connected further.
- Answer all responses - the gem may be hidden among them.
- Romance is wonderful but let's be on guard out there. Trust your instincts.
- Keep personal info private - name, address, phone, city, company, etc.
- Create an anonymous email account.
- Use a cellphone if you make contact, not your home phone.
- Meet in public, with a friend lurking in the background.
- And above all -- have fun! Maybe I'll have another wedding to attend soon!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Surviving divorce
It wasn't meant to be this way.
Thirty years of marriage on the scrap heap.
Once our son was 21, and out on his own, we pulled the plug on a stagnant marriage.
No growing old together. No walking hand in hand into the sunset.
An amicable separation, an uncontested filing, a flat rate of $1,000 after a couple of hours with an attorney.
I could have felt like a discarded old biddy, put out to pasture.
But guess what - I'm discovering myself again.
No one waiting for me to cook, clean, launder. After work, my spare time is a whole new social world, with old and new friends, new activities, new hobbies, new volunteer opportunities.
Even solitude -- not to be confused with loneliness -- is a pleasure.
It's a new path -- and no doubt a rocky one -- but each corner I turn reveals a different view.
Thirty years of marriage on the scrap heap.
Once our son was 21, and out on his own, we pulled the plug on a stagnant marriage.
No growing old together. No walking hand in hand into the sunset.
An amicable separation, an uncontested filing, a flat rate of $1,000 after a couple of hours with an attorney.
I could have felt like a discarded old biddy, put out to pasture.
But guess what - I'm discovering myself again.
No one waiting for me to cook, clean, launder. After work, my spare time is a whole new social world, with old and new friends, new activities, new hobbies, new volunteer opportunities.
Even solitude -- not to be confused with loneliness -- is a pleasure.
It's a new path -- and no doubt a rocky one -- but each corner I turn reveals a different view.
Genealogy - do I really have great-granny's nose?
I have trod where my forefathers trod.
In fact, I've trodden ON my forefathers - the tombstone of my great-great-grandfather and mother lies in front of the church door in a small English village.
Who knows how many happy brides, sad mourners, confirmation classes and May queens have stepped on that tombstone on their way in and out of St. Matthew's.
My gift to my father on his 80th birthday was a family tree gleaned from hours scouring records from the Latter Day Saints - both online and at a local LDS research center -- and sending away for birth, marriage and death certificates from the U.K.
The Genuki website was a goldmine - local UK readers contacted me after my postings and offered to search local churchyards and libraries. Their generosity and kindess were incredible.
I finally took my son to the UK, and visited the little village where my G/G-grandfather had been a stonemason. It was an incredible experience to walk the cobbled alleys where my ancestors once walked, sat in the church pews, hiked the surrounding moorland.
If you haven't delved into genealogy - start now. Your children will forever be grateful.
In fact, I've trodden ON my forefathers - the tombstone of my great-great-grandfather and mother lies in front of the church door in a small English village.
Who knows how many happy brides, sad mourners, confirmation classes and May queens have stepped on that tombstone on their way in and out of St. Matthew's.
My gift to my father on his 80th birthday was a family tree gleaned from hours scouring records from the Latter Day Saints - both online and at a local LDS research center -- and sending away for birth, marriage and death certificates from the U.K.
The Genuki website was a goldmine - local UK readers contacted me after my postings and offered to search local churchyards and libraries. Their generosity and kindess were incredible.
I finally took my son to the UK, and visited the little village where my G/G-grandfather had been a stonemason. It was an incredible experience to walk the cobbled alleys where my ancestors once walked, sat in the church pews, hiked the surrounding moorland.
If you haven't delved into genealogy - start now. Your children will forever be grateful.
Lien on me - surviving financial stress
I share something in common with Mike Tyson, Michael Jackson, and many more
I went bankrupt. And not just in a Monopoly game.
Four years ago, my husband's business went down the drain, and we filed for Chapter 7 personal and business bankruptcy.
I felt I had a "scarlet letter" on my forehead - not A for adultress, but B for bankrupt.
I felt the whole world was pointing its collective finger at us.
Know what? I survived. So can you.
The silver lining? We found who our true friends were - who donated food and clothing, who offered to take us in if we lost the house.
I saved mucho moolah by doing a lot of the work my attorney's paralegals would have done -- hours spent up to my eyeballs in paperwork, but it saved us money.
We were 4 days from foreclosure - my husband had put up a 2nd mortgage as collateral for the business.
Bank personnel wouldn't take my calls, my emails, or let me see top management.
Our attorney told us to walk away from the house.
I called my district representative, who lit a fire under the bank VP - who agreed to meet with us, and came down $40,000, giving us the leeway necessary to refinance.
Never give up. Never stop fighting.
I went bankrupt. And not just in a Monopoly game.
Four years ago, my husband's business went down the drain, and we filed for Chapter 7 personal and business bankruptcy.
I felt I had a "scarlet letter" on my forehead - not A for adultress, but B for bankrupt.
I felt the whole world was pointing its collective finger at us.
Know what? I survived. So can you.
The silver lining? We found who our true friends were - who donated food and clothing, who offered to take us in if we lost the house.
I saved mucho moolah by doing a lot of the work my attorney's paralegals would have done -- hours spent up to my eyeballs in paperwork, but it saved us money.
We were 4 days from foreclosure - my husband had put up a 2nd mortgage as collateral for the business.
Bank personnel wouldn't take my calls, my emails, or let me see top management.
Our attorney told us to walk away from the house.
I called my district representative, who lit a fire under the bank VP - who agreed to meet with us, and came down $40,000, giving us the leeway necessary to refinance.
Never give up. Never stop fighting.
Steps to reducing stress
- Eat a balanced diet, with plenty of hydration. Cut the caffeine and sugar!
- Exercise - even a short walk will clear your head and get the blood pumping.
- Learn to laugh - the world may not laugh with you, but you'll put what's bugging you in perspective
- "No" your limits! A useful little word.
- "I'm making a list, checking it twice ... " crossing tasks off a list gives a real sense of achievement
- Time out! Make room in your life for family, friends, hobbies, relaxation.
- Sign up for classes in yoga, tai chi, meditation.
- Do your best - then let go.
- Focus on one task at a time, not the whole enchilada. Rome wasn't build in a day and all that.
- Share the load - confide in a close friend, colleague, minister, family member.
- Find help - if stress is taking over your life, seek help from a doctor, psychologist, counselor.
Scuba-dooby doo!
I celebrated my 50th at 50 feet - underwater!
After taking lessons locally, I donned fins, mask and snorkel and explored the underwater beauty of the Cayman Islands. And my friend - who just turned 69 - joined me.
We enjoyed daily boat dives and shore dives, three night dives, explored reefs and walls, and saw a spectacular array of ocean life including octopi, eagle rays, moray eels, puffer fish, all kinds of exotic and brightly colored fish, and turtles.
The instructor who led the dive trip has taught beginners in their 50s, 60s, 70s - and even had a 95 year old beginner!
Swimming, snorkeling and diving are wonderful sports and not just for the younger set.
After taking lessons locally, I donned fins, mask and snorkel and explored the underwater beauty of the Cayman Islands. And my friend - who just turned 69 - joined me.
We enjoyed daily boat dives and shore dives, three night dives, explored reefs and walls, and saw a spectacular array of ocean life including octopi, eagle rays, moray eels, puffer fish, all kinds of exotic and brightly colored fish, and turtles.
The instructor who led the dive trip has taught beginners in their 50s, 60s, 70s - and even had a 95 year old beginner!
Swimming, snorkeling and diving are wonderful sports and not just for the younger set.
Keeping fit over 40
I love the smell of muscle ointment in the morning!
So you used to run six miles a day, bench-press 300 pounds, quarterback a winning team or run in a marathon. Maybe those days are past - maybe not.
For those of us who aren't born athletes, think of ways to stay fit without a trip to the ER.
If you like socializing and team sports, bowling, basketball or softball may be your style.
For solo athetes, biking, hiking, weight lifting and swimming fit the ticket.
For those with a competitive spirit, running, racquetball, squash, golf, and tennis may fit the bill.
And it can't be said enough - Talk to your doctor first! Start slowly!
So you used to run six miles a day, bench-press 300 pounds, quarterback a winning team or run in a marathon. Maybe those days are past - maybe not.
For those of us who aren't born athletes, think of ways to stay fit without a trip to the ER.
If you like socializing and team sports, bowling, basketball or softball may be your style.
For solo athetes, biking, hiking, weight lifting and swimming fit the ticket.
For those with a competitive spirit, running, racquetball, squash, golf, and tennis may fit the bill.
And it can't be said enough - Talk to your doctor first! Start slowly!
Welcome to midlife moxie! Where Baby Boomers bloom
So you're in midlife - sandwiched between Gen-X and Y offspring, and aging parents.
Looking over your shoulder at work, at younger co-workers ready to elbow you aside?
Elbow back, my friend. You have the wisdom and experience to outlast callow youth.
And if your employers don't appreciate that - move on. The world is your oyster.
Perhaps I'm whistling Dixie - if I had the breath to whistle. But at 48 I returned to the work force after 16 years at home raising my son. Quickly learned to seize opportunities, show commitment and dedication, and promotions followed rapidly. Changed course again at 52, to another successful career.
My joints may no longer flex, but my mind does.
This is our time to shine.
Here you'll find ideas and inspiration, anecdotes and tip for making the most of these incredible years. Join me for the ride.
Looking over your shoulder at work, at younger co-workers ready to elbow you aside?
Elbow back, my friend. You have the wisdom and experience to outlast callow youth.
And if your employers don't appreciate that - move on. The world is your oyster.
Perhaps I'm whistling Dixie - if I had the breath to whistle. But at 48 I returned to the work force after 16 years at home raising my son. Quickly learned to seize opportunities, show commitment and dedication, and promotions followed rapidly. Changed course again at 52, to another successful career.
My joints may no longer flex, but my mind does.
This is our time to shine.
Here you'll find ideas and inspiration, anecdotes and tip for making the most of these incredible years. Join me for the ride.
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